Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
