i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
