Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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