I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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