We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
