I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
