I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize