so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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