Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
