I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
