Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
