Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
