Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
