I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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