All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
