I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
