Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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