i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
