Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
