He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"it" just moved
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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