your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
