Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize