Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
