why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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