am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
