I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
