i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
