my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
