At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
