I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
