i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
