Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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