i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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