I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
