To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
