I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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