So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
