she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
