drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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