btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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