Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
