Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Found your dick twin last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
