My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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