well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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