My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You dont lie about slip and slides
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize