ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
