So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
