Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
