do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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