Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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