Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
