6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
