Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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