Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
