Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
