He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
