"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
