woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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