It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
