Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
