I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
